Preparing for international success - USoA

I just dug this thread up from somewhere. God knows why I'm evening typing stuff here. I should be working. Or at least doing a better job of pretending that I'm working.

My work should involve writing a talk for an international conference on the brilliance of myself. It should start with

"Good evening, lesser beings of both gender. It is I. Yes, that's right, me. Ok, ok, you can stop clapping and cheering and stuff. There are things I want to say here tonight.

*sigh* Look people, if you want to bask in my glowing glory, that's ok, just try and be a little quiet about it so others can here me....yes, I have things I want to say.....well, if you all really liked me, wouldn't you be interested in what I had to say?....ok, fine, then you can all sit here and be noisey and basky and stuff, I'm going home, to where at least my flatmates will listen to me.

Seems like making a speech to the adoring masses might require more work that I first anticipated. Perhaps I'll just stick to crunching numbers and doing pretty graphs in Excel. At least my flatmates will still listen to me.