Just in case Wendy invites me to her party. Why I am not going. Even though I have plans, why I couldn’t . I shouldn’t .
Even though a lot of my friends will be there. Ones who would support me and take care off me. Why I wouldn’t go.
Because I don’t want to see her happy. Because I don’t want to think about her moving on. Because I haven’t moved on myself. I won’t. I can’t yet. It’s only been 7 weeks. After 18 months, 7 weeks is not a long time.
Because I need to look after myself. Because I’m very fragile at the moment. I have a hard enough time with just thoughts of her in my head. I don’t think visual images or actually being near her would help. At all. It would only make things worse.
I still miss her. I wish we could talk. I wish things were better. But they’re not. And I need to get over her and move on, to feel better. And that will come. But only if I don’t have to think about her. And going to her birthday party would not be the way to do that.
(update)
Bahh. The so-and-so didn't invite me anyway. What did I expect? To be treated like a friend?
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