This one is funny too...

I'm in a great mood. I've been working my arse off.

I went and saw Capote (it's pronounced Cap-pottie) and didn't get it. It was like Martin Scorsese's The Aviator without the special effects. There was a prick, who wrote a book, about some killers, who may have been gay, who may have liked one of them. okok, so if'd I'd finished In Cold Blood, or even started To Kill a Mockingbird I might of got it.

But it feels like the damn movie should have been put on cassette tape that came with the books... "and at the sounds of the shot-gun, please turn the page."

On the up side, my pot plant on the sill is doing fine. At work my desk is tidy now so I can actually see the coffee mug rings underneath.

Does anyone out there actually care about the state of my desk? I mean, you've (probably) all got your own, right? In various states of chaos? I wonder what you keep on them? Same stuff I do?

Maybe you've got one of those irritatingly cute little trolls from the 1980's, blue-tacked (sticky tack for Americans?) down.

And an old-style metal pencil sharpener.

I've got one of those. It's cool to just sit it on the desk. Especially when you've got a meeting. Just slide it out casually into the center of the table, or maybe just nonchalontly place it beside your bright pink pencil case during the board meeting. People notice these things like this, and they'll be saying to themselves "hey, this is the sort of guy (or girl) who has an old-style metal pencil sharpener."

But maybe you don't want that sort of reputation around the office place. People will talk, you know. You'll notice it; people stop talking or change the subject when you walk past them at the water cooler. You'll get overlooked for promotions.

Or sometimes officemates will just stare at you.

From outside your window.

At night.

While you're at home in bed.

With your partner....

I guess some people really need their pencil sharpened at some REALLY weird times.

Next thing you know you're name is scribbled on the back of the toilet stall with your mobile number and the words "for a good time with your pencil, call them." And your home phone will ring at 2am, and you'll answer it, and there will be heavy breathing and a sorta grunt, and you'll scream "f*ck off you sick bastard" and slam down the phone, and your partner will roll over and say "what was that?" and you'll say "nothing honey, wrong number, someone just wants to give me their pencil."

hmm, I've been noticing a strange vibe in the air at work recently. Perhaps it's best that things like that are kept under a pile of paper work.